You are Beautiful and You Don’t Even Know It

It is fun to watch “our” mamas bloom. We kind of get to see the stories of their healing and health via social media. We have seem mamas go from barely posting anything to posting photos of their poems, their art and their gorgeous selves. The children are laughing and these mamas are having FUN. Reckless, extravagant fun. And it is beautiful. Over the past several years, we have noticed a ton more selfies from these precious ladies as they discover their beauty. And we love it. Take more selfies, mama. You are gorgeous. I mean, really gorgeous. In fact, I think that’s why he tried to keep you down.

I remember telling my ex husband that he was the only person, in this world, that I had, in my life, to tell me that I was beautiful. He wasn’t moved. In fact, there was a time that he was honest. He said words I will never forget, “Megan, I didn’t want to tell you you are beautiful because I thought you would become vain.” There you have it. He couldn’t even bring himself to tell me something nice on my wedding day. I felt ugly. I must have been ugly because it was acceptable to treat me like I was ugly. And the porn . . . there was no way for me to compete. I obviously wasn’t enough. Right?

No. Of course not. We are enough, in and of ourselves, because we are created by a Master’s artist-hand. We are His works. Ladies, we are beautiful. I think that God smiled as he crafted your sweet face, those lovely eyes, that hair . . . and then, when He breathed that deep soul into your body, I can imagine that His exhale must have been one of incredible emotion. And He looked at you and was so pleased. I’m sure, in His mysterious and unfathomable mind, He knew that, someday, someone would try to crush your feminine beauty. But, what He made would pass the test. No one can take your beauty away from you. Because when He breathed into you, it was an eternal breath. And that lovely, unique soul shines. And the longer you are away from the abuse, the more it shines. And we get to witness this.

One of the most frequent questions I hear is, “Do you think that I could ever find a man who would love me the way I am?” Oh my word . . . Obviously, these sweet ladies don’t know how exquisite they are — inside and out! But, I remember thinking I would never remarry. How could any man want this woman who had four children, felt “used up” and worn out and was exhausted all the time? It took me quite a time to accept my beauty, as a child of God. As His girl. So, let me just answer this now, mamas: Yes. You are beautiful. Every single one of you. Your smiles shine with your love for Jesus, for your children and I want to see it shine for the love you have for your sweet selves. You honor God. You are the bravest people I know. You haven’t given up on God, even though (because of what you’ve been through), it would be understandable. You have a hope and a future. Divorce and trauma do not signal the end of life! God loves new beginnings. You know how He is.

Discover it . . . accept your beauty. Look into the mirror and smile and thank God for making you a beautiful, mystifying, attractive, lovely person. And learn to love your body. It is miraculous, how He made us, really. You are marvelous. Accept it.



“Flowers From Vincent” by Megan Cox



7 Replies to “You are Beautiful and You Don’t Even Know It”

  1. I read this with tears, Megan. Even though God brought a man into my life who sees me (and my three children) through God’s eyes and who tells me I am beautiful every day, I still struggle from the soul-crushing wounds of the past. I still slip back into fearing that I am not “enough.” It has gotten better bit by bit, and I know in my heart that every word you wrote is right. But the voice in my mind still whispers what my husband calls “lies from Satan.” After believing that voice for so many years because of the abusers in my life, I still need reminders like this message you wrote. But I do want to say there is hope if you keep clinging to God. He did bring a faithful and patient man along to love what I thought was unwanted, and there has been a lot of healing in just two years. I believe God works through ministries like Give Her Wings, and through special people – whether a faithful man, adoring children, devoted friends or complete strangers – to provide hope and help us see beauty in ourselves and in the world around us. Thanks again, from a former “mama” who is laughing again (most days). 🙂

    1. It is so good to hear from you, Elisa. And so wonderful, knowing that you are now being loved and cherished, as you should be! It took me a full six years to overcome so much of the pain and hurt of what was said and done for me. That was half of the time I was married. I *know* that it will continue to get better for you. My heart is so happy, knowing that you are laughing again! I treasure the memories the kids and I have with all of you! Hugs!

  2. Thank you, Megan. Again. I am so blessed to have your writing. It’s glue…for little pieces of our hearts that broke off and landed under the couch against the wall, that we haven’t gone after because they couldn’t be glued back together.

  3. I still can’t believe it’s true. I don’t know if I will ever feel beautiful. He would only ever say I was “cute” or just “ok looking” but would go to great lengths to describe to me a beautiful woman he met. It was crushing. And once, in a very intimate moment, he told me if I was terminally ill he would not stay with me. With all he said and did, he screamed that I was inferior. It is hard to fight that.

    1. What he says about you doesn’t make it true. It is VERY common for abusers to describe “other beautiful women” to their wives to hit them where it hurts. He took advantage of your vulnerability and that is deplorable. But, you CAN heal, my friend. Praying for you tonight. And aching for you.

  4. I love this, Megan. Such an incredibly powerful reminder of the inherent beauty that God has sown into us, as well as the power of words, whether for blessing and encouragement or cursing and lies. Yes, abusers look for ways to keep their wives down because they want to keep them feeling inadequate, insecure and dependent. If women knew how truly beautiful and amazing they were they would not put up with such cruel treatment.

    Thank you for this well-written reminder, as well as the beautiful painting. You have some serious artistic ability there! Thanks for sharing it with us.


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