The Reality of Domestic Violence in America by Nicole

Are you in love with your significant other?  Do they make you feel safe?  Loved?  Cherished? Respected?  Honored?  Adored?  If you can answer yes to those questions, count yourself blessed.

Marriage is hard.  It takes a lot of work, patience and communication.  But for some, it is not as simple as work, patience and communication.  For some it is a matter of fighting for their life.  Fighting to keep their head above water.  Refusing to drown under the weight of a hardened individual.

Are you aware of the consequences a woman faces when she finally musters up the strength to leave an abusive situation?  Many do not so here are a few:

  1. Fear of retaliation from the abuser by many means:

  • Emptying of bank account

  • Refusal to pay bills

  • Threatening to take children away

  • Stalking

  • Left with no financial way to care for children

  • Harassment from abuser

  • Destroyed credit issues leaving the victim with no means to purchase a car, rent a home, open a new bank account

  • Continued emotional and verbal abuse

  • Created alienation of those in the victim’s life

  1. Rejection by friends

  2. Rejection by family

  3. Rejection by church

These are but a few.  Much is involved but be certain of this, it takes great amounts of courage and strength for one to stand and say, “I am valuable and I will not take the abuse any longer” as they leave.

It happens every day.  And the majority of women taking this step are doing it without the support of their family, friends, and church family. They are alone, scared and left to fight for the welfare of their children without the proper support and resources.  It is terrifying.

Do you know that if you commit a crime that could carry possible jail time in the United States you are given an attorney if you cannot afford one?  Are you aware that a woman who has been a stay at home mom for her children and has no financial means available after leaving an abusive situation is expected to provide for her own attorney? She is allowed to stand before a judge on her own while the abuser who has the necessary and available funds (and may even have more than one attorney) fights against her.  Our system allows this to take place every day.

It is so unfair and sickening.  The damage being done to the children in our country because of the “rights of a parent” is absurd and disgusting.  My passion is to see it changed – but it cannot be done alone.

Thankfully it begins with baby steps.  God has given me the amazing privilege to work with an incredible ministry.  A ministry that walks alongside women and their babies left stranded and who need help getting back on their feet.  Supporting women crushed by years of abuse with broken wings needing to be healed by God’s love.

I accept that many will never understand the pain others suffer. I accept that unless some things happen to you personally, it’s hard to acknowledge and understand the hurt it causes to others. Sometimes we need to step back and realize people are hurting. But not only hurting, they are suffering. They need to be rescued. They need the assurance that someone cares and loves them. They need their broken wings healed. They need HOPE. Will you please visit Give Her Wings and consider supporting our ministry?  Whether through prayers or financial support, we need your help. Will you help us in offering someone hope?  Will you walk with us as we minister to those who need the love of Jesus poured over them?

I ask you to pray about how you can be a part of this great ministry.  What simple things could you give up in order to help a mama and her babies put food on their table, electricity in their home, or even shoes on their feet?

*Would you be willing to give up one visit to Starbucks each week and donate that amount monthly?

*Would you be willing to eat out one less time each month and donate that amount?

Please visit and read some of the precious notes from the mama’s who have already been helped through this ministry and read more about what it is we do.

3 Replies to “The Reality of Domestic Violence in America by Nicole”

  1. I tried to end the cycle of abuse in my marriage of 28 years, but I found out the courts are there to help my husband abuse me financially, emotionally and psychologically. Thank you for speaking out so honestly, Jacqueline

    1. Jacqueline – We are so sorry (but not surprised) by the continued abuse you are experiencing in the courts. May we suggest some of Bill Eddy’s works? (“Splitting”, especially) And anything by Lundy Bancroft, Jeff Crippen and Barbara Roberts. Our hearts are with you. Please know that you are not alone!

  2. Jacqueline, bless your heart. There are people (angels on earth) that are committed to change the abusive family court process. After 11 years of family court, by the grace of God, I was able to take my wolf to court. Just a little background, Google Linda Boblitt defeats the statutes of limitations;attorney Marc Hughes. The Alipato Project, took my case December 23, 2014, with a trial by jury, January 20, 2015. Tia Katrina Taruc Canlas, the 29 year old founder. Tia defied all odds. This was her very first trial. After settling in mediation, Judge Culhane, came from behind the bench, shook her hand, “keep it up you are doing God’s work!”, I began to cry with joy. Tia was also choked up . I am at poverty level after the whole process, I am currently working on a goal, to help survivors with an eighteen month spiritual program. Have faith, trust in God.

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