George Simon writes a wonderful book entitled “Character Disturbance: The Phenomenon of our Age.” Within its pages, he includes the “Ten Commandments of Socialization”. While the book is for adults, these commandments can certainly be applied to children, as well. Many children of abusers take on some of the characteristics of their abusers, unfairly and unwittingly. Single moms who are trying to raise their children up in the Lord have the arduous task of teaching good character to children who have, not only come from a broken home, but who have lived under the influence of a father lacking in character and integrity. This is why I consider some of the single moms who are doing all they can to follow Christ some of the best mothers in the world.
Dr. Simon’s truths work because they are actually biblical. So, I have taken his truths and added Scripture and/or biblical truths to enforce them (in italics), even further, in our own family. I hope that these are a help:
1. You are not the center of the universe. Be mindful of how you, your urges and desires, and most especially your behavior impact everyone and everything else that exists. Christ is the center of the universe. “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” Rev. 1:8
2. Remember, you are not really entitled to anything. Strive to be genuinely grateful. Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess. 5:18
3. You are neither an insignificant speck nor are you so precious or essential to the universe that it simply cannot do without you. Keep a balanced perspective on your sense of worth. You struggle with the depravity of sin while holding the state of dignity as a beloved child of God.
4. Have the utmost reverence for the truth. Be ever mindful of humankind’s incredible capacity to deceive, including oneself. Honestly and humbly acknowledge and reckon with your mistakes. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9
5. Be the master of your appetites and aversions. Use the self control that was given as a gift to you through the Holy Spirit. (Gal. 5:22-23)
6. Be the master of your impulses. Be slow to speak; control your reactions. Do not grab for selfish reasons. Use wisdom in all things.
7. Strive to develop solidity, strength and rightness of purpose, with regard to your will. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-4
8. Neither your tendency to anger nor your instinct to aggress is inherently evil. But fight only when necessary, fight fairly, and above all, fight constructively and with as much care as possible to make things better while respecting the rights, needs and boundaries of others. Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age. Titus 2:12
9. Treat those you encounter with civility and generosity. We are all created in the imagine of God. There is common grace. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:45
10. To the best of your ability, be of sincere heart and purpose. Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. 1 John 3:18