The Reality of Domestic Violence in America by Nicole

Are you in love with your significant other?  Do they make you feel safe?  Loved?  Cherished? Respected?  Honored?  Adored?  If you can answer yes to those questions, count yourself blessed.

Marriage is hard.  It takes a lot of work, patience and communication.  But for some, it is not as simple as work, patience and communication.  For some it is a matter of fighting for their life.  Fighting to keep their head above water.  Refusing to drown under the weight of a hardened individual.

Are you aware of the consequences a woman faces when she finally musters up the strength to leave an abusive situation?  Many do not so here are a few:

  1. Fear of retaliation from the abuser by many means:

  • Emptying of bank account

  • Refusal to pay bills

  • Threatening to take children away

  • Stalking

  • Left with no financial way to care for children

  • Harassment from abuser

  • Destroyed credit issues leaving the victim with no means to purchase a car, rent a home, open a new bank account

  • Continued emotional and verbal abuse

  • Created alienation of those in the victim’s life

  1. Rejection by friends

  2. Rejection by family

  3. Rejection by church

These are but a few.  Much is involved but be certain of this, it takes great amounts of courage and strength for one to stand and say, “I am valuable and I will not take the abuse any longer” as they leave.

It happens every day.  And the majority of women taking this step are doing it without the support of their family, friends, and church family. They are alone, scared and left to fight for the welfare of their children without the proper support and resources.  It is terrifying.

Do you know that if you commit a crime that could carry possible jail time in the United States you are given an attorney if you cannot afford one?  Are you aware that a woman who has been a stay at home mom for her children and has no financial means available after leaving an abusive situation is expected to provide for her own attorney? She is allowed to stand before a judge on her own while the abuser who has the necessary and available funds (and may even have more than one attorney) fights against her.  Our system allows this to take place every day.

It is so unfair and sickening.  The damage being done to the children in our country because of the “rights of a parent” is absurd and disgusting.  My passion is to see it changed – but it cannot be done alone.

Thankfully it begins with baby steps.  God has given me the amazing privilege to work with an incredible ministry.  A ministry that walks alongside women and their babies left stranded and who need help getting back on their feet.  Supporting women crushed by years of abuse with broken wings needing to be healed by God’s love.

I accept that many will never understand the pain others suffer. I accept that unless some things happen to you personally, it’s hard to acknowledge and understand the hurt it causes to others. Sometimes we need to step back and realize people are hurting. But not only hurting, they are suffering. They need to be rescued. They need the assurance that someone cares and loves them. They need their broken wings healed. They need HOPE. Will you please visit Give Her Wings and consider supporting our ministry?  Whether through prayers or financial support, we need your help. Will you help us in offering someone hope?  Will you walk with us as we minister to those who need the love of Jesus poured over them?

I ask you to pray about how you can be a part of this great ministry.  What simple things could you give up in order to help a mama and her babies put food on their table, electricity in their home, or even shoes on their feet?

*Would you be willing to give up one visit to Starbucks each week and donate that amount monthly?

*Would you be willing to eat out one less time each month and donate that amount?

Please visit and read some of the precious notes from the mama’s who have already been helped through this ministry and read more about what it is we do.

Co-Parenting with Wolves, Part 6: Our Crisis of Faith

This is the last installment of our co-parenting series! We hope you have found this series helpful. We know that one of the worst parts of this journey is the crisis we have in our faith, when our lambs are in danger and it doesn’t seem like God is listening.

We might start to wonder if He really cares, because after all, the Word repeatedly tells us that He is a safe place in times of trouble (Psalm 9:9). That He will fight for us (Deut 3:22). That we can take refuge in Him (Psalm 46:1). That He is a rock (Psalm 18). That He cares for his sheep (Isaiah 40:11). That the widow and the fatherless are of utmost importance to Him (Deut 27:19, James 1:27).

And yet.. we doubt. Because we’ve been waiting for so long for justice and our lambs are suffering. Take heart, mama. Lift up your eyes to the Holy One, because down here you can’t see more than 2 inches in front of your face.


If you missed any of the other videos in this series, here are the links:

Part 1: What is a Wolf?

Part 2: Safety First!

Part 3: Badmouthing

Part 4: Combating Lies

Part 5: When the Wolf is in “Rage Mode”



Co-Parenting with Wolves, Part 5: The Wolf in “Rage Mode”

We know the wolf can be charming, and we know he likes to put on a sheep suit and get attention and self-pity (usually to disguise the fact that he just tried to eat one of the sheep).  But what do we do when the curtains are closed, and nobody is there to witness, and he rips off the sheep suit and bares his fangs?

This is the part that keeps us terrified for our lambs’ safety, and willing to dance to the wolf’s tune if only he promises not to eat our lamb. Right?

Well. Here at Give Her Wings, we know that


Here are quick links to the first 4 posts/videos in this series, or you can go directly to our video tab here.

Part 1: What is a Wolf?

Part 2: Safety First!

Part 3: Badmouthing

Part 4: Combating Lies

Stay tuned for the last video in this series, Part 6: The crisis of faith we have when we are battling wolves for our children! God bless you all, xoxoxo




Co-Parenting with Wolves, Part 4: Combating Lies

Have you ever watched someone tell a lie, and you knew that you couldn’t prove that they were lying? When your children are the target of those kinds of lies, it can be maddening trying to counteract the resulting anxiety and confusion in their hearts and minds.

'My what big teeth you have! Also your grey and furry and clearly a wolf. . . I'm not an imbecile.'

Join us for part 4 in our video series (Co-Parenting with a Wolf). Today we are talking about how to train our children to spot motives behind behavior, in this case the motivation behind a wolf’s lies:


Here are quick links to the first three posts/videos in this series, in case you missed them:

Part 1: What is a Wolf?

Part 2: Safety First!

Part 3: Badmouthing

and stay tuned for part 5: What to do when the wolf is in “rage mode”!  xoxo



Co-Parenting with a Wolf, Part 3: Badmouthing

Wolves simply cannot (or more accurately, will not) ever stop badmouthing their victims. You can count on a wolf to never miss an opportunity to say mean, negative things and outright lie about you to anyone who will listen. But when it is your child that receives their verbal spew, is there anything you can do about it?

This is one of the many reasons that co-parenting resources for divorced parents are generally useless, when it comes to abusive people. They assume that each parent has a conscience, and want to put their children’s well-being first. You cannot pretend that a wolf ever has good motives (because he doesn’t)– this would invite further harm on your child.

In part 4 we will talk about the wolf’s lies (which could fill the ocean if he had enough time).  Here are the links to the first two posts/videos in this series:

Part 1 – What is a Wolf?

Part 2 – Safety Issues

Stay tuned and God bless you as you travel this road! xoxo


Co-Parenting with Wolves, Part 2: Safety Issues

Our second video is up – this is part 2 of 6 in our series on co-parenting with abusive people!  You can check out our introduction to this series and what led us to tackle this topic in our last post. Please excuse the quality of this video, I am new to this video thing and I had some issues with this one. :/ Bleh!  But I think the next installments in this series are going to be less fuzzy. I hope, anyway. 😉

Today we want to discuss some safety issues when dealing with wolves, because this is tricky and can be dangerous. Plus we know that many of you are trying to tackle these beasts without the proper support! and stay tuned for our next video on Badmouthing — the wolf is a sneaky fellow, and lies and badmouthing are some of his favorite weapons. We are wise to the wolf, though, and not only can we predict his behavior, we can put up a fight (figuratively speaking :))


Co-Parenting With Wolves: Our New Video Series!

We had such a successful Christmas campaign, and we were so high on the happiness of watching God provide for all 40 of the children on our list, that it felt like a gut-punch to see how many of our mamas are being assaulted with fresh court battles.

I am not sure if the success of Christmas and the hope and relief that it brought to our families was like waving a red flag in front of a bull?  Like if Satan could pick a time to attack everyone anew, and bring everyone back under bondage and fear, January would be the perfect time to do it?

Whatever is going on in heaven this January, here on earth we are back to the daily grind. And this pressed upon our hearts the great need for encouragement for parents who have to share their precious children with unsafe people. So we put our heads together and came up with a video series on co-parenting, and it ended up being 6 parts long before I felt like it was complete (for the moment).

We are not media experts, by any means! We’ve never done this before so forgive us if the editing and presentation are less than news-perfect 🙂  However we feel that there is a huge un-met need in this area, and most people in these awful situations cannot afford hours and hours of therapy, or loads of books on dealing with wolfish people. Often time, energy, and money are in such short supply that we thought bite-sized videos on this topic would be just what the doctor ordered. 🙂

We pray that this new series encourages you that you are not alone, and that God is not silent or uninterested in your plight. God is awakening this generation to the horrific abuses going on within the Body of Christ, because He is not happy and we must answer the call to bring justice and mercy for the widows and fatherless.

Take courage, mama! Because Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world. Amen.

Here are links to the next videos in this series:

Part 2: Safety Issues First!

Part 3: Badmouthing

Part 4: Combating Lies

Part 5: Rage Mode

Part 6: Crisis of Faith