Our Annual August Treat: Give One to Give Her Wings

It’s that time of year again! As we swelter in the heat and start thinking about school supplies, we can get excited because it’s time for one of our top favorite campaigns of the year – Give One to Give Her Wings !  Our 21 mamas are in terrible adversity, and every spare penny goes to the needs of the children. We love to use our August fundraiser to give them some pampering that they so deserve. We get to know our mamas pretty well, so we have very specific ideas for gifts this year and we have all new buttons for you to share!  woo hoo !

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You can check out our current fundraiser page to see all the buttons we have and join in, so that when you donate something this month to one of our mamas, you can post about it on social media. We love seeing these buttons popping up on Instagram and Facebook and Twitter — because we’re watching love rain down on some really deserving women.  ( see our fundraiser page for the instructions.)

Our little flock has grown so much this year, and we know that God is using this ministry to ease suffering and we want to thank you for caring! Please share our August campaign with your friends! We can’t wait to bless our tired mamas with some pizza nights and a box of chocolates or a new piece of clothing.

Our prayer group is getting the periodic updates on what to pray for specifically, and if you haven’t signed up for our newsletter and want to know what we are doing each month – there should be a scrolling box popping up on the right side of your screen 🙂  (If you don’t see the sign up box, send me an email: Katy@giveherwings.com)

It’s been a big year so far and God is in this!  xoxo

 

The Reality of Domestic Violence in America by Nicole

Are you in love with your significant other?  Do they make you feel safe?  Loved?  Cherished? Respected?  Honored?  Adored?  If you can answer yes to those questions, count yourself blessed.

Marriage is hard.  It takes a lot of work, patience and communication.  But for some, it is not as simple as work, patience and communication.  For some it is a matter of fighting for their life.  Fighting to keep their head above water.  Refusing to drown under the weight of a hardened individual.

Are you aware of the consequences a woman faces when she finally musters up the strength to leave an abusive situation?  Many do not so here are a few:

  1. Fear of retaliation from the abuser by many means:

  • Emptying of bank account

  • Refusal to pay bills

  • Threatening to take children away

  • Stalking

  • Left with no financial way to care for children

  • Harassment from abuser

  • Destroyed credit issues leaving the victim with no means to purchase a car, rent a home, open a new bank account

  • Continued emotional and verbal abuse

  • Created alienation of those in the victim’s life

  1. Rejection by friends

  2. Rejection by family

  3. Rejection by church

These are but a few.  Much is involved but be certain of this, it takes great amounts of courage and strength for one to stand and say, “I am valuable and I will not take the abuse any longer” as they leave.

It happens every day.  And the majority of women taking this step are doing it without the support of their family, friends, and church family. They are alone, scared and left to fight for the welfare of their children without the proper support and resources.  It is terrifying.

Do you know that if you commit a crime that could carry possible jail time in the United States you are given an attorney if you cannot afford one?  Are you aware that a woman who has been a stay at home mom for her children and has no financial means available after leaving an abusive situation is expected to provide for her own attorney? She is allowed to stand before a judge on her own while the abuser who has the necessary and available funds (and may even have more than one attorney) fights against her.  Our system allows this to take place every day.

It is so unfair and sickening.  The damage being done to the children in our country because of the “rights of a parent” is absurd and disgusting.  My passion is to see it changed – but it cannot be done alone.

Thankfully it begins with baby steps.  God has given me the amazing privilege to work with an incredible ministry.  A ministry that walks alongside women and their babies left stranded and who need help getting back on their feet.  Supporting women crushed by years of abuse with broken wings needing to be healed by God’s love.

I accept that many will never understand the pain others suffer. I accept that unless some things happen to you personally, it’s hard to acknowledge and understand the hurt it causes to others. Sometimes we need to step back and realize people are hurting. But not only hurting, they are suffering. They need to be rescued. They need the assurance that someone cares and loves them. They need their broken wings healed. They need HOPE. Will you please visit Give Her Wings and consider supporting our ministry?  Whether through prayers or financial support, we need your help. Will you help us in offering someone hope?  Will you walk with us as we minister to those who need the love of Jesus poured over them?

I ask you to pray about how you can be a part of this great ministry.  What simple things could you give up in order to help a mama and her babies put food on their table, electricity in their home, or even shoes on their feet?

*Would you be willing to give up one visit to Starbucks each week and donate that amount monthly?

*Would you be willing to eat out one less time each month and donate that amount?

Please visit GiveHerWings.com and read some of the precious notes from the mama’s who have already been helped through this ministry and read more about what it is we do.

It’s Almost Time for Easter…

This March we are pondering all the ways that the Lamb of God has rescued us, redeemed us, and given us new life!

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As we approach the Easter celebrations, we are praying about our future mamas and little lambs, as well as the entire Give Her Wings family. We know that our Savior longs to rescue widows and the fatherless, and his love is everlasting.  He has been so faithful to our cause – our Valentine’s fundraiser was incredible and the goal for our “March mama” was met! Praise be to our God!

We feel that the next step for our organization is monthly partners. Not just monthly donors, but also we need prayer warriors who would come alongside us and pray for all of the flock’s needs (our hurting mamas, our ministry team, raising funds, etc.). The needs are incredible and we need support in praying for everything! We also really need some partners who are willing to help us network for Give Her Wings (pass out our cards? talk to your church? Legal contacts? Blogs?) – we know that the people in the GHW Family have big hearts and willing hands!

Having partners in this ministry would help us in three ways: (1) Take pressure off of our teammates who spend the bulk of their free time asking people for money (2) Enable our team to focus more on the spiritual and emotional needs of “our” mamas and the mama of the month and (3) Give us more of a reserve so that we can grow and begin helping more mothers at once! Wow!

So will you help us by partnering in one of these ways? We need you! Even the smallest monthly pledge makes a tremendous difference to this ministry. Are you looking for a place to tithe? Or feel like you want to help in ministering to widows and orphans but you don’t have the time?

To become a monthly financial partner, go to our donate page and follow the steps

To become a networking partner, contact Meg:  Megan@giveherwings.com

To become a prayer partner, contact Kat:   Katherine@giveherwings.com

Also, to the first 20 friends who partner with us @ $10/month for the next year, you will receive a BEAUTIFUL photograph-card of baby lambs by Yes & Amen Photography. It is our token gift to remind you of where your funds are going: to sweet little lambs of sweet mamas who are escaping abuse. This is Jesus’ flock, friends.

 

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In Jesus’ Holy name, we thank you for your support and willingness to serve. Amen!

Co-Parenting with Wolves, Part 6: Our Crisis of Faith

This is the last installment of our co-parenting series! We hope you have found this series helpful. We know that one of the worst parts of this journey is the crisis we have in our faith, when our lambs are in danger and it doesn’t seem like God is listening.

We might start to wonder if He really cares, because after all, the Word repeatedly tells us that He is a safe place in times of trouble (Psalm 9:9). That He will fight for us (Deut 3:22). That we can take refuge in Him (Psalm 46:1). That He is a rock (Psalm 18). That He cares for his sheep (Isaiah 40:11). That the widow and the fatherless are of utmost importance to Him (Deut 27:19, James 1:27).

And yet.. we doubt. Because we’ve been waiting for so long for justice and our lambs are suffering. Take heart, mama. Lift up your eyes to the Holy One, because down here you can’t see more than 2 inches in front of your face.

 

If you missed any of the other videos in this series, here are the links:

Part 1: What is a Wolf?

Part 2: Safety First!

Part 3: Badmouthing

Part 4: Combating Lies

Part 5: When the Wolf is in “Rage Mode”

 

 

Enjoying Success with Three Days Left!

Wow! Once again, God has showered His favor on Give Her Wings in the past one week. Why? I think it is because He loves our cause. He loves the fact that we are doing our little part to take care of widows and the fatherless. Why would He not work through us to help pay some bills for our sister who is struggling? He has never failed us, friends. We have never ever ONCE strained to come up with the funds that we have needed. There have even been times where we have taken “risks” and taken on TWO mamas of the month and, still, He has provided. It is all His, anyway, right? $1500 per mama is just a drop in the bucket for Him! Oh, goodness . . . maybe if we had greater faith, we would ask Him for more. Maybe someday . . .

In the past one week, you all have shown our March mama so much love, friends. And it isn’t even March, yet. In the past seven days, we have raised over $1100 and will be sending out over 40 books . . . and we still have three days left in the campaign. But, here is the cool part that we weren’t expecting: Many, many single mothers gave a small amount ($3-5) so they could receive my book. It did not occur to me that there were so many of you who would like to have the book but couldn’t afford the price. My heart melted. We didn’t know! Sweet mamas, I am so glad that you wrote in. I could not be happier to send you a copy. We love you! Thank you for your donations. They have added up. And, still, the costs were all offset by some larger donations and it has evened out beautifully. Large or small donations, the Church has worked together to help a sister in need. That is beautiful.

So! All that being said, how we would LOVE to raise the full amount before we focus on partnerships with GHW in March. Soon, we will be posting an article about our very deserving March mama, who is a precious lady with three beautiful boys. And we will ask you to partner with us! Hooray! How we would love for you to be a part of this ministry!

Three more days . . . give any amount at all to our March mama (hop on over here) and receive my book for FREE. Maybe you would like to read it; maybe you know someone who needs it. Either way, you will be blessing “our” mama, blessing us and being blessed. As we have said so many times, this campaign is a win-win-win.

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Co-Parenting with Wolves, Part 5: The Wolf in “Rage Mode”

We know the wolf can be charming, and we know he likes to put on a sheep suit and get attention and self-pity (usually to disguise the fact that he just tried to eat one of the sheep).  But what do we do when the curtains are closed, and nobody is there to witness, and he rips off the sheep suit and bares his fangs?

This is the part that keeps us terrified for our lambs’ safety, and willing to dance to the wolf’s tune if only he promises not to eat our lamb. Right?

Well. Here at Give Her Wings, we know that

 

Here are quick links to the first 4 posts/videos in this series, or you can go directly to our video tab here.

Part 1: What is a Wolf?

Part 2: Safety First!

Part 3: Badmouthing

Part 4: Combating Lies

Stay tuned for the last video in this series, Part 6: The crisis of faith we have when we are battling wolves for our children! God bless you all, xoxoxo

 

 

 

Bondage & “Discipline”? Or Wings? — Be Blessed by a Give Her Wings Gift

As we approach the time where “50 Shades of Grey” will hit the theaters with a splash, our hearts (here at Give Her Wings) are heavy. They are heavy because we stand for freedom . . . we stand for grace . . . we stand for what is good and lovely. And we stand for these values passionately because Christ stands for them passionately. The sensational book, “50 Shades . . .” draws the reader into a story of bondage, discipline and (let’s face it) abuse. And, you know what? “Consensual” abuse is still abuse. Anything that takes away another person’s freedom goes directly against what Jesus came to do for us. He took the bondage; He took the chains; He took death upon a cross to give us freedom. Freedom to be in a relationship with Him, freedom from sin, freedom from death, freedom to love others. And our charge? Set the captives free. Be like Him.

Even if it is consensual, then the person in bondage is still just that — in bondage. The terms of the dominant-submissive relationship are manipulative. He gives her everything she could ever want in return for her submission to his bondage. Is that love? Is that freedom? We love, as Christians . . . without expecting anything in return. How does Christ love us? He never pushes, never demands, never forces and NEVER takes for himself to the detriment to others.

And any woman who has been in an abusive relationships knows the death-of-her-soulness when she lived in chains. And you . . . you see it in her eyes. You want to ask her, “Do you think so little of yourself that you would let him do that to you?” And the answer would be “yes”. Because she does not know, yet, does not believe in the Christ who loves freedom or has not fully understood the love that HE alone can give her. She cannot fathom it. And that is why we even exist. To help her fathom it.

We love those who are in bondage. We love them. We don’t accept that it is OK, normal or, even, healthy. If you are in a bondage and discipline relationship, please know that there is grace waiting for you. Please don’t stay in. You remember when you felt like you were in control and he let you feel that way and, now, you realize that you are not. And you do not know how to escape. And you think it is too late. But, it is not.

As a meaningful counter to what Hollywood is doing, Give Her Wings would like to offer my book, “Give Her Wings: Help and Healing After Abuse” for free with ANY donation to our non-profit organization. Big or small. The book is yours. Because we have a mama (in March) who will need our help very soon. She is not amused by bondage and discipline. She lived, for years and years, under the heavy handedness of an abuser. To this day, years later, he still attacks her in every way. She fights and struggles against a corrupt legal system to keep her children and her sanity. And, still, he is allowed to tear her apart, emotionally and financially. We want to come to her aid. She is our sister, after all. Every donation that is given will go directly to paying our March mama’s bills and bringing her some relief, financially. You can give a donation and receive your free book here.

We want to give a real gift of love this Valentine’s Day. True love. Like the love that Christ gave by giving up on the Cross. Donate today and receive your special gift in the mail. A love gift, from us.

 

The “Ten Commandments” of Socialization — by George Simon

George Simon writes a wonderful book entitled “Character Disturbance: The Phenomenon of our Age.” Within its pages, he includes the “Ten Commandments of Socialization”. While the book is for adults, these commandments can certainly be applied to children, as well. Many children of abusers take on some of the characteristics of their abusers, unfairly and unwittingly. Single moms who are trying to raise their children up in the Lord have the arduous task of teaching good character to children who have, not only come from a broken home, but who have lived under the influence of a father lacking in character and integrity. This is why I consider some of the single moms who are doing all they can to follow Christ some of the best mothers in the world.

Dr. Simon’s truths work because they are actually biblical. So, I have taken his truths and added Scripture and/or biblical truths to enforce them (in italics), even further, in our own family. I hope that these are a help:

1. You are not the center of the universe. Be mindful of how you, your urges and desires, and most especially your behavior impact everyone and everything else that exists. Christ is the center of the universe. “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” Rev. 1:8

2. Remember, you are not really entitled to anything. Strive to be genuinely grateful. Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. 1 Thess. 5:18

3. You are neither an insignificant speck nor are you so precious or essential to the universe that it simply cannot do without you. Keep a balanced perspective on your sense of worth. You struggle with the depravity of sin while holding the state of dignity as a beloved child of God.

4. Have the utmost reverence for the truth. Be ever mindful of humankind’s incredible capacity to deceive, including oneself. Honestly and humbly acknowledge and reckon with your mistakes. The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

5. Be the master of your appetites and aversions. Use the self control that was given as a gift to you through the Holy Spirit. (Gal. 5:22-23)

6. Be the master of your impulses. Be slow to speak; control your reactions. Do not grab for selfish reasons. Use wisdom in all things.

7. Strive to develop solidity, strength and rightness of purpose, with regard to your will. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:3-4

8. Neither your tendency to anger nor your instinct to aggress is inherently evil. But fight only when necessary, fight fairly, and above all, fight constructively and with as much care as possible to make things better while respecting the rights, needs and boundaries of others. Training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age. Titus 2:12

9. Treat those you encounter with civility and generosity. We are all created in the imagine of God. There is common grace. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. Matthew 5:45

10. To the best of your ability, be of sincere heart and purpose. Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. 1 John 3:18

Co-Parenting with Wolves, Part 4: Combating Lies

Have you ever watched someone tell a lie, and you knew that you couldn’t prove that they were lying? When your children are the target of those kinds of lies, it can be maddening trying to counteract the resulting anxiety and confusion in their hearts and minds.

'My what big teeth you have! Also your grey and furry and clearly a wolf. . . I'm not an imbecile.'

Join us for part 4 in our video series (Co-Parenting with a Wolf). Today we are talking about how to train our children to spot motives behind behavior, in this case the motivation behind a wolf’s lies:

 

Here are quick links to the first three posts/videos in this series, in case you missed them:

Part 1: What is a Wolf?

Part 2: Safety First!

Part 3: Badmouthing

and stay tuned for part 5: What to do when the wolf is in “rage mode”!  xoxo

 

 

Co-Parenting with a Wolf, Part 3: Badmouthing

Wolves simply cannot (or more accurately, will not) ever stop badmouthing their victims. You can count on a wolf to never miss an opportunity to say mean, negative things and outright lie about you to anyone who will listen. But when it is your child that receives their verbal spew, is there anything you can do about it?

This is one of the many reasons that co-parenting resources for divorced parents are generally useless, when it comes to abusive people. They assume that each parent has a conscience, and want to put their children’s well-being first. You cannot pretend that a wolf ever has good motives (because he doesn’t)– this would invite further harm on your child.

In part 4 we will talk about the wolf’s lies (which could fill the ocean if he had enough time).  Here are the links to the first two posts/videos in this series:

Part 1 – What is a Wolf?

Part 2 – Safety Issues

Stay tuned and God bless you as you travel this road! xoxo