Finding Safety in Relationships

Part of the unspoken purpose of Give Her Wings is to help our mamas feel safe in their relationships. When I first met my husband, I was like a scared-chihuahua-slash-jumping-bean-on-a-hot-plate. I had not slept through a night in a year. I was riddled with anxiety, nightmares and fear. The weight of the world was on my shoulders and I was constantly waiting for the next shoe to drop, relationally. I felt like a war had been waged against me and against my sanity. It was a free for all. It was like I was Kate Austen in “Lost” (such a great series, right?!) who was warming herself by the fire at night but always looking back over her shoulder, rubbing her hands together nervously . . . wondering what that sound was. There were unidentified monsters out there. I never knew when they would strike. My fire and warmth were Jesus. I kept in close contact with Him constantly, truly closer than I am even now. I was afraid NOT to be close to Him. But, I was looking back with big eyes . . . never stopping . . . so afraid. And feeling alone.

I did not believe that I could trust another human being. 

I know that others on our team understand this dynamic all too well. I know that many of our readers understand this valley. As we have said before, “We get it.” We get it, friends. And we want to help.

Give Her Wings is so important because we try our hardest to provide a safe environment for “our” mamas. We are all in different places. We understand that. We are not perfect but we do our best.

Over the past 2.5 to 3 years, I have come a long way. I have gone through stuff with some of my friends and, as a result of showing grace to each other, over and over, we have three-stranded-cords between us that cannot easily be broken. But, even if they were, I believe I could withstand . . . . eventually, at least.

Our message to those who give to the GHW ministry is this: Please help us. Enable us to provide such an environment for our mamas. We have a great year ahead of us. We need more partnerships to take off some of the pressure so we can serve spiritually, in addition to the physical needs.

To all of you precious mamas who have left abusive situations . . . those of you who are losing your people and your tribe and your church and your family . . . people are choosing sides and you are being condemned and accused, or even mocked . . . to you, we say this: You may be losing your people, but they were never really going to be there for you, in the first place. They were simply not capable. They do not know how to handle heavy things. Please believe me when I tell you that God will replace all of your loss and more. He will bring a new Tribe to you that will be a perfect fit . . . a stronger group and a closer group then you have ever had before. Let the old go. The new is coming! It really is. You will be able to warm yourself by that Fire, now, and just . . . .rest in safety. The monsters out there will prove to be mice. The fear will dissipate. You will become stronger than you ever realized. And, you won’t care that much, anymore. Let the shoe drop — you’ve been through worse and survived it.

But, for now, know that we are here and we love you. Start with us. And, more importantly, Jesus is here . . . and He loves you more than we could ever imagine. Cling to Him right now. Just cling.

 

 

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