Bigger Than the Gift

Thank you for what you’ve given!! 

It was just a gift certificate for a book.  She cried tears of thanks and responded to tell us.  Her own to choose, to keep?! WOW!

The kids get to see their very first movie in a theater.  The giggles and wiggles and plans ensued.  Never mind what movie, they cannot wait!!

A manicure?! She’s never had anyone paint her nails before.  Paid or not. What does that look like?

Cupcakes already made, exotically beautiful without the cost and sweat in the kitchen? Yes, please!!

How about a microwave to heat the endless leftovers a growing teen consumes daily, between meals? More tears.

The gifts that you thoughtfully, prayerfully, and generously chose to send through us sends more than a package.  It sends love and hope.  With each gift, the precious mamas are told how valued, spectacular, loved, and chosen they are.  By their Father in Heaven. We happily support and encourage and send along the gifts.  They are needed.  Some needs are practical, but all lift the spirits of the women who’ve been beaten down.  And these beautiful warrior women, remarkably and faithfully, explain to their children that there are people all over the world that love and support them.  

We have, with your generosity, been able to send many beautiful, thoughtful, practical gifts to the women we so humbly walk through life with.  There are more needs…towels, vacuums, small appliances.  And more ways we can shower these beautiful souls….

Please consider donating today. We still have the rest of August and there are still so many loving gifts to be given! We are thankful for you, for your kindness and for your lavishing love.




Happy Father’s Day, God!

I have a confession. I used to hate Father’s Day.  I mean really, really HATE Father’s Day. (And Mother’s Day, but that’s another story.)  Commercials, songs, cards, and sermons all reminded me of what I did not have.  By touting the glorious, irreplaceable, life-shaping contribution that dads make to a child’s life, I was made keenly aware that I was lacking something big.  Something over which I had no choice, no control of but without which I would never be whole or good.  Or so I thought.

I can’t pinpoint a moment in time, but as an adult I finally got it.  (Oh, how I wish I was a faster learner!) I have the PERFECT parent!!  I knew all the church songs and Bible verses, but it clicked in my heart in a different way.  That deep-down, in my gut feeling…that my Father in Heaven is the only parent that I need.  It was a crazy-good, heart and mind-changing realization! It took time, but I could finally let go of the notion that I deserved less and embrace what love God was offering me.

His love is kind and gentle, never forceful or aggressive.  His love is not based on my performance.  I cannot earn it.  I cannot lose it.  THAT, my friends, is a Real Father.  That love whispers truth at all times.  Over and over, in my darkest hours he called me to Him.  I couldn’t accept His love at first.  I couldn’t imagine anyone could love me.  When your own parent(s) reject and harm you, this is a tough idea to wrap your brain around.  (Plus I just don’t get things right away.)  Yet He never gave up loving me.  He persisted in the most gentlemanly way.

The Lord sees your pain.  He knows your struggles and what your children have suffered and continue to have to endure.  His plan, His desire for you is that you feel His love.  Rest in it, soak in it, trust in it, and trust in Him.  God is good.  All good, all the time.  We live in a world full of turmoil, yet He overcame it.

I am an imperfect parent.  We all are.  But we break the chains, we break the cycles.  Our past does not define who we are or who we will become.  We are His.  We are loved and we are lovable.  He formed us, chose us, came for us, gives us hope, and will never forsake us or leave us.  So, really, this Father’s Day is day is His gift to us.  He is the best dad ever. Happy Father’s Day.

Properly Armed

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Before I sit down to the computer every day to work for Give Her Wings, I have to do something important.  (Besides grabbing a cup of coffee.)  I have to prepare my heart.  I need armor for this work.  His armor.  Not mine.  My armor is perforated, sits crooked and sometimes is lacking whole pieces I forget to put on.   His armor? It covers my thoughts, my heart, my faith, my direction… perfectly.  I have to stop and take the time to get armed. Ephesians 6 reminds me, too, that the battles aren’t mine alone or just what I see.  These battles are spiritual, and He is with me.  Properly armed, I can move forward to hear more heartbreaking stories than I can bear without him.   Properly armed, I can deal with landlords, utility companies and others who don’t want us helping and put up a ridiculous fight.  Properly armed,  I get to see His mighty hand moving, answering prayers left and right, and give Him all the Glory. It is exciting work, folks! Spirit-moving, praise-worthy work! 


Today, we celebrate that, because of your generous hearts,  we have raised all $1500 for our current mama, Redeemed!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!  And not only THAT, but she has seen prayers answered in areas that she had all but given up on.  You all prayed and she felt that, saw that, and is beyond thankful.  We help in practical ways, with the needed funds, but the spirit-lifting that your prayers accomplish in these women and children is priceless.  


The inbox continues to fill with women needing help.  We wish we weren’t needed.  But we are His hands, His feet.  We press on, never tiring of the work He has called us to.  I lift my arms up to Him in thanks.  The sword and the shield strengthen my own wimpy arms so they can do more, love more, serve more.  Thank you for your loving, generous hearts that allow us at Give Her Wings to keep on serving. 

Kat Watkins

Redeemed — Our May Mama

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He whispers into the ear of the precious and innocent five year old, “While you’re with me this weekend, Mommy is going to sell all your toys.  She doesn’t have any money because she didn’t obey me.”  The sweet child comes home angry and panicked to a mother who repeatedly has to prepare herself for these crisis moments.  Mom is braced and ready, praying, speaking truth and love and teaching her children how to see a wolf in sheep’s clothing.  Their hearts wrestle with questions regarding truth, lies, faith and trust.  The older two children hear worse than the youngest and experience unendurable affliction at the hands of their biological father. The eldest tries to protect his younger two siblings and bears more on his young teen shoulders and heart than he should have to.  The detox after a visit to an abuser takes hours, sometimes days.  Every other weekend.  And once a week, midweek.  It takes a toll.

“Redeemed” has wanted a divorce for the entirety of the two years since she has left.  It has yet to be granted in court and she is wearing for trying.  He has the money, so he has superior legal help.  Unfortunately, it stays true that money talks.  A better car is bought with more money.  The same goes for attorneys.  Redeemed’s children’s voices are not heard.  He controls all medical and psychological decisions and treatment for the children.  He rejects counselor after counselor for the family.

Redeemed does not give up, though she is bone tired and struggling financially.  She sees God’s hand moving in the midst of the storms.  She feels His healing touch daily and teaches her sweet children that God is all good all the time.  Even when the wolf is on the prowl, hurting his own children to get at her.  Even when it is hard to pay the bills and she needs help from family and friends; even when they cry from pain she cannot stop.  Redeemed trusts that the healing she has experienced during the last two years is just the beginning.  She knows Who to trust and how to fight and she does not give up.

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are Mine” (Isaiah 43:1 ESV) is her favorite verse.  After years and years of abuse that could/should/would shatter the lives and will of many, she knows who she is and Who she belongs to — Not a man who belittles and besieges women and children; not a man who blames her for the monsters in his closet; not the church who encouraged reconciliation and submission. Redeemed belongs to the Lord Most High!  She wavers and wobbles at times, wrestling with the demons of the past. But she clings to the future, knowing it is bright and worth the fight.

Redeemed needs financial help with her rent and utilities, in order to free up her income to pay her lawyer for an upcoming trial in 8 days.  She hopes and prays that the divorce is granted, that his financial records are called into play, and that the child advocate is allowed to testify.  Her freedom, the freedom of her children, depend on this case. Please prayerfully consider donating to help end the cycle of abuse and show her and her children how very valuable and treasured they are. Won’t you join us in our efforts to minister to Redeemed? When you give, please specify that it is for this tremendous and brave mama. We need your help!






Spring Storms

There are many sayings about spring.  Nothing is more appropriate than the saying “March roars in like a lion.” There are storms of all kinds brewing for our mamas, especially our newest mama “Faithful Friend”.

We were able to pay three utility bills for Faithful this week.  As I was getting my car serviced, I sat in a waiting room calling places and finding websites to help her.  That seems inconvenient. But then I heard Faithful Friend and her precious children were locked in a closet waiting out a tornado warning.  My waiting room all of a sudden became a palace.  Perspective is key.  I blinked back tears, prayed for her, and kept working.  Here she was emailing and answering mine from inside her closet.  This impending storm didn’t phase her.  She’s been through worse.   Surely, I could get through the systems to ensure her utilities stay on.  It’s not as easy as it should be to pay someone’s bill.

Paying bills for Faithful
Paying bills for Faithful

After some time, the utilities were paid but my heart remained heavy.  I did something relatively easy to help a woman in need.  I can’t patch up her broken heart or the hearts of her hurting children.  I can’t make sense out of abuse.  I can’t tell her why she’s still struggling after so much time, just trying to make ends meet.  I can’t wrap my brain around horrible court-ordered visitation her children endure with the abuser.  But I can reach out and ask for help for her.  That I can do.  And I can pray that you would help us and the many women who reach out to us all too often.

Faithful Friend thanked me profusely after emerging safely from the closet.  I was relieved she was safe, physically.  She is so weary, friends. The home that Faithful had hoped to move into proved to be more money than the prospective landlords had said it would be.  She is a smart woman who read through the whole lease agreement and thankfully found that out before it was too late! Her current home is being sold and she is fighting for every last day she can stay there legally, while tirelessly looking for somewhere safe and saving every hard-earned penny she has.  Her children’s hearts are hurt and confused . . . spinning storms that continue to impact in ways that are unpredictable.

The raging storm of abuse continues long after the abuser leaves.  Please know this, friends. It changes its course, going for finances and courts and using the children as pawns.  It calms occasionally, and then gathers strength and blows through again.  Faithful Friend isn’t alone.  We have mamas whose children are mistreated on visits, who face court rulings that are taking children and putting them back with their fathers, whose child support doesn’t come in regularly or at all.  It’s heartbreaking.  That heartbreak is what keeps us at Give Her Wings going forward.

There is only One who calms the storms.  And He calls us to trust Him, step out on the water toward Him.  We reach out and keep our eyes on Him, as we ask for donations to help these precious children of His.  We step out of the comfort of our boat, knowing that every little gift we receive adds up to the grocery cards, gas cards, bills paid, deposits met that we are able to send to Faithful Friend.  She’s not getting off her praying knees and we join her there.  When the storms calm, the damage is assessed, the wounds begin to heal and the beauty of His people loving and helping can be seen.  We press on, knowing that Faithful needs us.  She needs you, too.




When God Moves Quickly

January is slooow for us here at Give Her Wings, typically.  We work on taxes, plan calendars, redefine goals.  We regroup, rest and get ready for the year.  February is sort of similar, but speeding up a bit.  We have a Valentine campaign, our finances are settled, our spring campaign is getting close.   Picture a running turtle.  Seriously, picture it.  Or a running ground hog…THAT is a sight to behold.

AND THEN?! BOOM!! God lays someone in our path and tells us to pick up the pace and GO!  All of our hearts skip a beat and we say an emphatic YES!!!! And we sprint like Olympians toward what He calls us to do.

Today was one of those days for usIt is when we get to DO ministry, ministry we wish we didn’t have to do, but that we really, really love to do.  A woman we have known for years, who has nominated other women, encouraged us, encouraged many women..she reached out and asked us for prayer.  Just prayer, nothing else.  With three children, a tumultuous divorce, and an even more tumultuous aftermath…she wanted us to pray.  She has planned and strategized, worked hard, and then finds out her rental home is being sold and she has to leave.  Her credit has been hit hard for reasons she cannot control and did not contribute to, making her new home’s deposit impossibly high.  And then. her precious friend nominated her.  Those friendships are not coincidence.  He orchestrates it all so beautifully.

Our Faithful Friend, as we will call her, is now needing OUR help.  She has given it for years, to those she knows and those she doesn’t.  She has worked hard to instill deep faith in her teen children, who have seen and have been/are the targets of atrocious acts and they wonder…is He real? Is He there? We are called to love as He loves us.  We are called to encourage and lift up those who lay by the side of the road as others walk by.  Faithful Friend and her brood need that help today.

When He calls us, swiftly we answer…YES! 

You can make a tax-deductible donation and/or also sign up to be a monthly donor, an “Angel, at


Time is almost up!


The year of 2015 was amazing and exciting! And it is almost over!!! We couldn’t have helped all the women and children we did without your generous contributions.  This calling of ours is from Above, and we seek to fulfill His Word while we care for widows and orphans.  You can still send in your year end contributions to help us meet our goal of $24,000 for the upcoming year.  We need your help to continue doing this vital and necessary work.

We all wish that our ministry wasn’t needed.  The mamas of Give Her Wings have been left broken, beaten, and destroyed by the men whose hearts are dead to His instructions and examples of how to care for a bride and their children.

Give Her Wings whole-heartedly serves the women and children whose lives have been shattered by their abusers.  We meet their urgent physical needs so that they can can breathe a bit, pay some of their bills and receive just a moment for some spiritual and emotional healing.  This isn’t a quick and easy fix.  Give Her Wings does not just take care of groceries and bills and leave it at that. We walk alongside these beloved mamas and pour our hearts into them….up until the time they tell us their wings are strong enough to fly and that that they don’t need our help.  Then a beautiful part of ministry unfolds…they share their desire to help women who are walking in the same path as theirs.

Our ministry fills in the gap when women are thrown into financial chaos without tools (because their controllers kept them), when social services aren’t available (the red tape is endless and rarely do abusers honestly report finances), and family/friend/church support is lacking (the wolves have carefully covered and manipulated their trails), when courts and resources for lawyers aren’t fair, when the hearts of children weep and cry nothing but confusion and hurt. This is what we do and why we do it.

We need your support and pray you will consider making your year end gift to Give Her Wings.

An open letter to the leaders who cast us aside

match1This letter is for those in church leadership who cast us aside when we needed you the most.  For those in leadership who were duped by those who used you the way in which they used us. For those leaders whose spiritual abuse left us broken and doubting.

You see, you were fooled into believing whatever story they wanted to spin. A pawn in their disturbing game of  control and manipulation. Without a second thought, you listened to their stories, accepted every tear, and acknowledged their “I’m sorry” as genuine repentance.

You chose to distance yourself from reality, the darkness covering our home.  You avoided the opportunity to investigate further into the truth, to invest more deeply in the lives affected, but instead, chose the bliss of ignorance and the ease of assumption.  You were swayed by gossip and lies, and you ignored the warning of Scripture not to judge a matter without hearing all parties (Proverbs 18:13). You foolishly assigned blame apart from the facts.  Apart from knowledge.  Apart from relationship.

For some, as leaders, your pride stood in the way of pursuing the truth.  A need to protect your persona and the image of a building prohibited you from doing the difficult stuff.  From failing to investigate the truth from fiction or taking the necessary steps to defend those lost within such a dark situation, your lack of concern left us broken and crushed while doubting our faith.

For those leaders who dismissed us as being excessive in our sensitivity or reluctant to submit to the headship of our husband, this letter is for you.  For those who accused of us doing something that caused the abuse or by telling us we needed to have more sex with our spouse, this too is for you.  And for those who repeatedly told us, “Your spouse is not the enemy.  Do not allow the real enemy to destroy your family,” your words only served to aid the abuser in destroying us in even greater ways.

Understand, we were fully aware of the true enemy and to this day because of shared children, we still face our enemy on a daily basis.  You see, for us, our spouse was and remains the enemy.  He was a man being used by the true enemy to oppress, berate, demean and abuse.  Our spouse spoke the name of Jesus to those he needed to impress, but his actions, the actions we witnessed, confirmed otherwise.

For us, it took time to wrap our heads around the truth of our situation.  For us, all we could hear were your accusing words informing us we were the problem.  No matter how many prayers we prayed, questions we asked, counseling sessions we attended, we were not fighting hard enough or praying loud enough.  You left us burdened by the weight of our heartache and believing we were the cause.

As if the despair we felt for our decaying family was not enough, you heaped sorrow upon our suffering while drenching our open wounds with feelings of guilt and shame.  And then you handed our abuser the match leaving him to devour what was left of our broken spirits.

But God!  You see, He steps in when others walk away.  Truthfully, He never leaves, but instead, because of those thundering opinions around us, we often lose track of His voice.  However, rest assured, when He speaks, He calms the storm and reminds us exactly who is in charge and who wrote The Book.

He reminds us that abusers live in a consistent pattern of sin which according to scripture, means they are not a Christian.  Instead, a true Christian is one who struggles with sin, yet hates it and pursues forgiveness from God.  This is not the way of our abuser.  Numerous passages speak to this truth.  Here are a few. Psalm 50:16-22, John 13:34-35, Romans 8:3-9.

For those in leadership, the ones who have been given charge over the sheep, to each pastor and elder who walked hand in hand professing to the do the work of God, hear our voices as we beg of you, please educate yourself.

With that said, if you as leaders are striving to accomplish what God has called you to, please, do not demand that we return to our abuser.  As a shepherd, your job becomes that of protecting your sheep, especially the weak ones, which means not sending us back to the wolf.  And by all means, refrain from using Matthew 18 as a way to manipulate us into doing it your way.  More often than not, this passage lacks relevancy to our situation for the reason that our abuser is not a Christian.  See 1 John 3:6-10.

So it is not hard to figure out who are the children of God and who are the children of the diabolical one: those who lack right standing and those who don’t show love for one another do not belong to God.

1 John 3:10

As the Body of Christ, it should be your mission to protect those who have been harmed by abuse.  1 Corinthians 12 speaks of the Body of Christ saying that if one member of the body hurts, all members hurt.  The church should be a safe haven for victims and not a place of safe hiding for the evilness of the prowling wolf leaving the broken sheep to scatter.

As leadership you should understand the strategy of the wolf.  His gameplay of fake repentance.  The tears he will shed, the walks to the altar at the conclusion of a service for all to see.  He will play you. 

However, until you witness true repentance, repentance that involves claiming his actions instead of blaming his victim or minimizing his own actions, requesting genuine spiritual accountability, seeking out the service of a true professional in the psychiatric field, you should stay away.

Now understand, we as survivors realize God can change anyone.  That there are men who have repented and now walk with Jesus. Nevertheless, we need you to understand this, a man must be willing to submit to God and allow God to transform his heart.  A simple prayer asking for forgiveness through streaming tears, which we have witnessed thousands of times, does not confirm that change.

In conclusion, I leave you, the church leadership who cast us aside, with these words, be aware of the problem.  Understand the countless facets of domestic and spiritual abuse.  Do your research. Become educated.

And for the lives of the precious children involved, do not counsel couples where claims of abuse are made.  Instead, admit to your lack of training in this area and work with these couples in seeking out those qualified and trained to diagnose and counsel those in need of dealing with this growing problem found in our churches.

And to those who were cast aside, God is good.  He is faithful.  He will envelope us with His love and shower us with His grace.  Just trust His hand and allow His voice alone to lead.

With love,

Those who’ve been enveloped by His love





“Pearl”, a beautiful mama — An Urgent Call for Help

A pearl is formed when a piece of sand gets inside an oyster.  The oyster, in an attempt to protect itself, spins and coats it.  The result is a beautiful pearl.  Jesus tells the parable of the pearl (Matthew 13:45-46) and a merchant who sees it and sells all he has to buy the one pearl.  The kingdom of heaven sent Jesus to give His life, His everything for us..the pearls.  Our mama of this month reminds us of a pearl…and so we named her “Pearl.”

This month’s mama, Pearl, began her life as an addict because her mother was using drugs throughout her pregnancy.  She ended up being adopted.  This couple who should have cared for and protected her used her 6 year old innocent body for the porn industry.  She bravely ran away five years later to be with her biological mom.  This woman put Pearl in charge of the meth lab.  When it was shut down, this vulnerable teen was left to fend for herself.  Drugs and alcohol numbed the pain.  Prostitution paid for it.  She was pregnant at 16 and dropped out of school.  Pimping made more money than prostituting, so she turned to that. Until God stepped in.

One night, in jail, Pearl cried out to God.  She begged Him to save her.  And promised she would turn from her lifestyle and follow Him if He got her out of jail.  Our God is so mighty, so faithful, and so merciful.  She was released.

Pearl cleaned up, stopping pimping and prostituting and drugs.  She kept her promise.  And she leaned so hard on the Lord.  She had two children at this point and was doing everything she could to provide for them and teach them about Jesus.  She met a nice man.  They married and she had two more children.  They were well off and had a comfortable life.  She didn’t see the red flags at first. Where could she have learned about healthy relationships?   His abuse was directed solely toward her and she thought she could put up with it.

And then he went for her son.  Not his child, but hers.  The rage that was normally directed at her had changed course.  Pearl saw things from a different position.  And began to plan how to get out.  She managed to load her car up and get away to live in a friend’s camper.  She worked hard…cleaning houses, washing cars…anything to take care of her precious babies.  She saved up and got an apartment.  And a divorce.

These men, these wolves, don’t pay child support like they should.  If at all.  Pearl doesn’t receive what the courts ordered.  She struggles and fights to make ends meet.  And now, her ex husband lives just down the road.  The man who doesn’t pay support gets to share custody with her.  He has tried to break down her door to get the kids when it isn’t his day.   The courts won’t extend her restraining order.  She lives in fear of when he will show up again in a rage.

Pearl trusts in the Lord with all her might. He has saved her from much worse.  She fights hard, but with dignity.  She prays for and with her children and teaches them their Father in Heaven is the only perfect Father who will never hurt them or leave them.  Pearl praises Him with every breath.  She gives thanks for every moment of every day. It is beautiful.  And it convicts me, too.  How often do I praise Him in the storm?

Oh, she is beautiful.

Pearl needs our help to move.  She has found a home an hour from the wolf.  She needs our help to get a moving truck and put down deposits on the new place by October 15.  She needs to know we believe in her.  Her children need to be in a safe and peaceful home. What an opportunity we have now to show her and her sweet children the love of God in a tangible, practical way!

Go to our current fundraiser page and make a donation.  Big or small, we need them.  Maybe you’re ready sign up to be a monthly donor.  And grab a Tshirt while we still have them. $24.95, including shipping.  (Put your size in the comment box on paypal).